


Holidays and Anxiety (don’t) Go Great Together

by The_King_Of_Ravens



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric, Anxious Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Gen, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28267623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_King_Of_Ravens/pseuds/The_King_Of_Ravens
Summary: The holiday season always makes Virgil anxious. He lashes out at everyone because of it.
Kudos: 26





	Holidays and Anxiety (don’t) Go Great Together

**Author's Note:**

> Before we start I wanna give a quick shoutout to my awesome editor, Cass! She doesn’t have an AO3 account yet but you can check out her Instagram if you like, @itsame_cass. 
> 
> She really helped me make the story consistent, otherwise this whole piece would just be a mess!

Virgil couldn’t sleep. He had been awake for almost four days straight. At this point, he didn’t even have to put on makeup to create the black bags under his eyes. They were simply a permanent feature of his face. The anxious side felt exhausted. He would give almost anything to be able to get some rest. As a Side in Thomas’s mind, he couldn’t die from exhaustion, but his tired state could affect both him and his host, as well as the quality of his work. 

Glancing at the clock again, Virgil groaned. Only a minute had passed. A minute he could be spending getting things done instead of lying in bed uselessly. It was, after all, the holiday season, and there was so much to be done. He couldn’t waste his time on sleep, especially if he wasn’t even going to sleep anyway.

Sighing, he got out of bed. Then, he pulled on his favorite hoodie and sneaked down to the kitchen quietly for a cup of coffee. Of course, Virgil knew caffeine wouldn’t help him sleep, but if he couldn’t sleep, he at least needed something to help him stay awake. 

///

Patton found him perched atop the kitchen counter a few hours later. He was nursing his 8th cup of coffee in one hand and stared blankly at a long piece of paper held in the other. 

“Good morning, Kiddo!” Patton greeted him with as much enthusiasm as he usually did, walking in with a wide grin.

“Christmas is tomorrow,” mumbled Virgil in reply.

Patton’s grin got even wider. He absolutely loved Christmas. He was just like a little kid. “I know!” He squealed with delight, clasping his hands together. “I’m so excited! I can’t wait to open gifts with all of you!”

Virgil finally looked up from his paper. 

“Can’t wait?” He scoffed. “You realize we only have ONE DAY to get everything done!” 

He shoved his paper in Patton’s face, which was a list marked with all the things they needed to get done for the holidays, like get gifts for everyone and making a holiday video for the fans, and stuff like that. Only a few were checked off, and Virgil had scrawled “not done” under most of them. 

“Does this look like we’re ready for the holidays?” Asked Virgil sharply. “Because we need more time!” 

Patton looked upset. “But Kiddo-“

“And you know what?” Virgil interrupted. “It’s all your fault! If you hadn’t insisted on visiting Thomas’s friends all week and playing around instead of actually getting stuff done, then maybe we’d have enough time!” 

Logan and Roman arrived in the kitchen at that moment. They had heard the commotion and came to see what was wrong. 

Patton’s lip was quivering slightly. “B-but I just wanted to have fun.” Said the father figure in a small voice, a slight frown on his face. He wasn’t quite sure why Virgil was upset. Sure the list was long, but they had an entire day to get the shopping out of the way! And cooking with the family was half the fun! Patton thought they just needed a quick run to the grocery store to grab some of the ingredients and the problem would be solved. 

Looking between Virgil and Patton, the two newcomers quickly jumped in. 

“Virgil, could you explain to me what the problem is?” Asked Logan in a very calm tone while Roman brought Patton to the other room to calm him down. 

The anxious side looked back at the logical side, panic in his eyes. “There’s too much to do Logan! All this stuff, in just one day? We have too many activities planned!” His eyes narrowed as he looked back at the logical side again. “And it’s your fault!” He accused. 

Logan raised his eyebrows. “Oh? Please explain.” He said, his voice cold and level. He had some suspicions that Virgil might not be thinking clearly at the moment, he looked so tired he could fall over. But still, he wanted to hear what the anxious side had to say. 

“If you had managed Thomas’ schedule better, he wouldn’t go shopping for last minute gifts on the same day he visits his parents and goes to the restaurant with his friends!” 

“That wasn’t what happened,” stated Logan calmly. 

“You didn’t do your job right!” Virgil yelled again, his tone accusatory. 

Despite knowing, logically, that the other side was clearly delirious from the sleep exhaustion, the logical side yelled back. “Well if you did your job right and rang the alarm earlier about everything that needed to be done, maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation!” 

Roman walked back into the room. “Stop yelling!” screamed the Prince. “It’s upsetting Patton,” he explained, lowering his volume back down to an indoor voice. 

He looked between the two sides and accessed the situation quickly. Virgil was sitting on the counter, his legs dangling over the side. Logan was right in front of him, an angry expression on his face. The two were glaring intensely at each other. 

“Okay, okay, break it up,” he called, pulling Logan back. “Go take a walk and calm down.” He told the logical side calmly. Logan looked at him for a second and he looked like he wanted to hit him. Roman braced himself and stepped away, but Logan simply sighed.

“You’re right Roman, we are being quite foolish right now. I shall take a quick break, and when I come back, we could talk like civilized adults.” He directed the last part at Virgil, who was now pouting like a child. He looked at Roman, who mouthed “don’t worry, I got this.”

Once Logan left the room, it was just Roman and Virgil. “So, Storm Cloud,” Said Roman sternly, turning towards Virgil. “Why are you lashing out at everyone? You know you made them very upset. But if you just apologize...” 

The other boy hissed at him. 

Roman glared at him. “Okay, seriously? What is your problem?” 

Virgil glared back. “You didn’t do your job either.” He accused. 

Roman looked indignant. “How dare you!” 

“You didn’t give Thomas any good ideas for a holiday video.” 

“I gave him plenty of ideas!” 

“I said good ideas. None of yours were usable.” 

“But you’re the one who told Thomas they weren’t good!” Protested the Prince, getting more and more frustrated with Virgil’s attitude. 

Virgil shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee. “It’s not my fault if you have terrible ideas Princey.” 

Roman scoffed and stomped away. He met with Patton and Logan in the living room. 

“Okay, I don’t know what’s wrong with him or why he’s acting so much more... bitter? Than usual. But we have to do something.” Says Roman in a hushed tone. 

Patton looks worried. “Is he alright? He was so mean to me, to all of us.”

“I believe he might be suffering from insomnia due to his, well, anxiety surrounding the holiday season. He might be lashing out now because of how close we are to the end of the holidays,” suggested Logan. 

“That makes sense, but is there anything we can do to make him calm down, other than ignore him? It’s starting to affect Thomas too...” Said Roman. 

“Well, there is one way, but I don’t think he’ll like it,” sighed Logan.

“Well, what is it?” Asked Patton curiously. He just wanted his kiddo to get some sleep and wake up feeling better. 

“Let’s call Thomas,” Said Logan and the three sides focused to pull their host into his own mind. 

Meanwhile, Virgil was growing anxious again in the kitchen. The others had been gone for a long time, and he knew Thomas was in the mindscape with them. He could hear them whisper to each other in hushed tones but he couldn’t quite make out the words. Curiosity and anxiety got the better of him. 

He walked over to them. “What are you talking about?” He asked cautiously, his eyes narrowed at them. 

“Oh, not much, we were just debating what movie we should watch tonight. We decided on Home Alone 2, a classic,” explained Roman with a grin. 

Virgil frowned. “We don’t have time for movies!” 

“Don’t you think it would be fun?” Asked Patton. “I’ll make us all some hot chocolate!” 

Virgil glared at him, making the emotional side look down sadly. 

Thomas spoke up, trying to get his anxiety’s attention. “I think it would be a nice break, why don’t you come sit and we’ll put the movie on?” 

Virgil started at the host with a look of disbelief. “Not you too? Don’t you realize how much stuff needs to be done?” 

Unwittingly or not, Viril sent multiple waves of panic into his host. Thomas quickly lost his smile, he started having trouble breathing as panic hit him. 

“He’s right, there’s not enough time... oh shit, I have too much to do, I have to, I have to-“ he started hyperventilating, eyes wide and panicking. 

Logan was in front of him in a second. “You’re okay, remember the breathing method. Inhale for four seconds... hold for seven seconds... exhale for eight seconds...” he continued counting and guiding Thomas through the panic attack while Roman took care of Virgil. 

“Stop!” Yelled Roman to Virgil. 

Virgil didn’t respond, still staring blankly at Thomas.

“Stop!” Repeated Roman, a little louder. No reaction. “You’re hurting him!” He said again, grabbing Virgil’s shoulders and shaking him. 

Virgil finally snapped out of his trance and stopped sending waves of panic to Thomas, allowing him to actually start calming down. 

Roman looked at him angrily.

Virgil felt ashamed. More stress and panic started building up in his chest but he did his best to push away the feeling. He looked around and all the other sides seemed upset at him. He stumbled back a little, “s-sorry,” he mumbled before running back to his room.

///

A few hours later, Virgil felt a familiar tug on his wrist, indicating the host wanted to see him up in the real world. He decided to ignore it. He didn’t feel like seeing any of them. 

The tug got a little stronger as he could sense Patton, Logan and Roman were also calling him now. 

Suddenly, he got yanked into the real world by Roman. 

He glared at the man across the room. “What do you want?” He asked, his voice sharp. Roman crosses his arms. “You weren’t answering.” He replied matter of factly. 

Virgil rolled his eyes. Figures the prince would be impatient. “Okay, well I’m here now” he said, turning to the rest of the group. 

He was waiting for them to yell at him. He was not expecting the soft smile Patton offered or the wave from Thomas, inviting him to sit on the couch with them. 

Virgil slowly came closer. “Wha-“ he barely had time to react. As soon as he was within reach of the couch, Patton pulled him down with surprising force and suddenly he was stuck between the father figure and the prince in the couch, under a big fluffy blanket. 

Thomas smiled at him. “It’s been a long day, and now we’re watching a movie.” 

Virgil frowned. “But you don’t have time to-“ 

“Yes I do, and I deserve to relax after a stressful day.” 

“But you didn’t do anything productive-“ he tried again. 

“I did my best and that’s what counts.” 

“But-“ Virgil was getting distraught.

Thomas took in a deep breath. Virgil suddenly felt a little sleepy. Thomas held his breath while Logan counted quietly for him. Virgil frowned. He knew what they were trying to do. “Don’t!” He protested, moving to get to Thomas, but Roman pulled him back. He tried to fight but the other was stronger. Plus, he really was getting tired and why fight when maybe he could sleep... 

Thomas finished exhaling and Virgil could barely keep his eyes opened. “Good night Virgil,” Said Thomas softly in his ear as the anxious side finally drifted to sleep. They didn’t want to bother him so they all slept together on the couch that night. 

///

In the morning, Virgil woke up with a start. He started panicking immediately because it was Christmas and he fell asleep and- 

Thomas woke up a few minutes later. “Morning Virgil,” he grinned. “Merry Christmas.” Noticing how distraught Virgil looked, Thomas took his hands in his. “Virgil. Breathe. Copy me okay,” he did the breathing exercise again and Virgil did the same. They did this for a while and finally Virgil was calm enough to realize that there really wasn’t much to worry about.

The others woke up about an hour later and they exchanged presents. 

“I-I’m sorry about my behaviour” apologized Virgil shyly.

The others forgave him quickly, Logan sternly warning him to come to them next time he felt stressed instead of letting insomnia take over. 

“Thanks, I will,” said Virgil appreciatively. 

The sides were happily able to enjoy their Christmas together.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow! Well, thank you so much for reading all the way here, I do hope you’ve liked the story. 
> 
> Merry Christmas everyone! Stay safe.


End file.
